Happy 2013 everyone!

I thought I’d dropped out of Christianity long ago, but yesterday, New Year’s Day, I noticed I’ve been living in Original Sin my whole life. What a shock!

I was driving home from Red Bluff, it was a beautiful evening, the sky deep blue above me, the trees black against a horizon glowing like flame. I was admiring this beauty when I suddenly noticed that I was seeing it all through a subtle film of guilt – a guilt that was definitely not part of the sky and the trees.

It was like an underlying assumption that I had done something wrong. An assumption, I saw with surprise, that I had been overlaying on reality all my life, and that had me living in a state of tension, always on guard, ready to hide.

I had never noticed the guilt before; in fact I had long congratulated myself on being relatively guilt-free. Now I was stunned to see that I had been swallowing the idea of my own guilt my whole life, just as if I believed in “original sin.”  

Even more interesting, I saw that this was hooked to the concept of Right and Wrong itself, which I had endowed with the power of natural law – and now it was clear that there was nothing natural about it. Even right and wrong were nothing but a judgment I had inherited, a phantasm without substance.

These assumptions about guilt and right and wrong are still there of course, but at least I’ve seen them for what they are: the whispered incantation that the Devil has been muttering in my ear all these years!

About Trudi Lee Richards

Author, poet, Spanish-English translator; Activist and community builder. Member of the international Community of Silo's Message (www.silosmessage.net) and its Portland, Oregon and Red Bluff, California communities (www.RedBluffPark.org) Published work includes "On Wings of Intent, a biography of Silo," "Soft Brushes with Death, a Jorge Espinet Primer," "Fish Scribbles," and "Experiences on the Threshold - with Silo's Message." Also publisher and editor of "Human Future," an independent review published in San Francisco, California, from 1989 to 1996. Mother of five grown kids/stepkids and five step grandkids; Long ago graduate of Stanford University; Lives in Portland, Oregon.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.


  1. Fer says:

    Hi Trudi. I had a similar realization about one and half years ago. I was reading the First Chapter of Silo’s Message – Meditation and I realized the sentence “Here feelings of guilt are abandoned” that that particular sentence could not be placed there just by accident. That in reality not only myself but the entire society is moved by guilt. I realized that I had to conquer my own guilt as almost a pre-condition to “meditate in humble search” I am glad to finf more companions on the same path. A big hug

  2. KurtH says:

    Like the Holy Ghost, lurking in my copresence, I too
    suspect I have the same affliction.

  3. Ken Dickinson says:

    “Give me a child until he is seven years old, and he is mine for life”, supposedly said St Ignatius so we all have our work cut out for us in reconciling with and transforming our past into something more interesting for the future. Just remember Trudi, its not your fault.


Comments are closed.